THE MOTHER WOUND
Do you love your mother dearly but notice feelings of resentment or anger coming up? and you don’t understand why?
Your mother is your first relationship in life and has a direct correlation with how you show up in other relationships. Our mothers mold us (physically + emotionally)
Your sense of self as a child is built on how your relationship with your primary caregiver was.
ex. If you cried a lot and your mother left you unattended you could begin to get the messaging early on that your needs do not matter.
As women, we tend to look at our dads as being the source of emotional unavailability as they are often in the provider role and away from home aka daddy issues. If you did not have this specific family dynamic, maybe a single parent, adopted, or 2 moms this also applies.
The mother wound mainly affects daughters but can sometimes affect sons.
So how does the mother wound form?
You were not allowed to express emotions like anger or sadness
Your mother was there to meet your physical needs but not your emotional ex. love, security
Did not provide empathy or help you understand how to work with your emotions
Wasn’t available because they were working or attending to their own interests
They suffered abuse themselves and did not process their own trauma
If they had an undiagnosed mental illness
They had an addiction to drugs + alcohol
If you experienced any of this in childhood it makes sense why there would be anger and resentment. This is completely normal and many people struggle with this.
In the counselling realm, we are often taking a look at how these unprocessed emotions are affecting the way you feel about yourself and others. Emotional trauma stays in the body and can be there for a lifetime if they are not released in a safe environment.
The holistic wellness approach is to take a look at the root cause and then to work with the mind + body to release the emotional trauma. You will then get an opportunity to reparent yourself in the way you needed. You become the mother you needed and begin to heal the mother wound
xx
Michèle